Is it a good idea to allow your autistic child to be involved in the church? I will share my experience, but this is something you have to decide for yourself. My son has been going to church with us sense he was 5yrs old. It is a weekend routine.  Saturday is a free day and the only day without a plan this far. Sunday is the Lords Day and that's what we try to keep constant. My son used to tell me the story of how he came to be. He would tell me that he was with God before he came to me. On his birthday he was assembled. God put his arms on his body then his legs and put his mind and soul in his body and sent him to earth to be born. It was a unique story. I never heard of that before. He believed it with all his heart. As he got older, he would ask questions about God and existence but the answers we gave didn't really fill his void. He said as he got older, he couldn't hear or see God anymore and that made him sad. He doesn't understand that God won't sit next to you like a mom or dad will and talk to you. It's more of a spiritual internal kind of relationship. We also explained that with all the distractions sometimes it's hard to hear God. You have to quiet everything including your mind.

                                                                              Pray and ask and wait. This is not something many people can do. Thats when a lot of issues started for him. It is very hard to explain spirituality to any child but an autistic child or mine at least don't understand that its spiritual. His mind is one thing, and his body is another thing. They are disconnected. He gets upset when he makes a mistake and says he don't want to go to hell. although we have explained Jesus' love, prayer and forgiveness he still has a hard time processing.  I feel as the more he grows up and learns what it's all about he might see it all differently but right now he is not able to. So, we have suspended his church visits. When he gets older and begins to understand more it might be ok to go again but I'm just not sure. When I brought this to his Sunday school teachers' attention, she said you really need to teach him of the Love of Jesus at home. YES. I was offended. I do that already. no one sees the meltdown or self-doubt that's inside him. when he gets so overwhelmed and upset. It's like he is someone else when he is mad like that. It scares us because he is so hard on himself. Then he goes to negative talk and cussing us out with bad words he forms together you would never hear together. It is a volcano meltdown moment.  

Like a volcano that builds up and releases pressure so to my son does. His release moment only happens when he cries. If you can get him to cry his meltdown will end a lot sooner. Then you have to wait a moment hug it out then all better. I feel at this time in his little life church, God, Jesus and spiritual growth need to fade out. Be less of that and more about his mental growth. I don't know if anyone else is having the same issues with their autistic child but what I have been hearing is wait be patient it will get better in time. No church for now. It doesn't mean we don't believe in God or that we love him any less we just need emotional growth and more time for physical growth before we can allow him to go back to church.

 

Be kind to yourself! Were all doing the best we can do.

Anne Goehler