If you have done your homework on ASD, then you know it is much easier to see the traits in a boy then girl. They say it's because girls mask to fit in more than boys do. It's True for us. In my son some symptoms he shows:

uncontrollable anger 

outburst

stimming

echoing statements (movie lines, Phrases and Inappropriate language,) 

Anxiety

ADHD

Impulsiveness

sound sensitivity

Friendships are awkward as he can't see ques.

In My daughter it more looks like someone that doesn't want to listen. She has some of his same symptoms but hers are more like

eloping

can't sit still.

talks to strangers.

Blunt and Mouthy

Disagrees with everything we say

Anxiety

Uncontrolled outburst followed by a quick apology.

Cries when something in new

echos emotions and behaviors

stimming

picky eater

sound sensitivity

Lies (were teaching Just kidding) saying that will stop you from making the lie.

Make bad choices in friendships and blames herself when someone makes a mistake because she would rather have a mean friend then someone who is nice to her. EX: she had a girl bite her and leave a mark. I said no more going to her house that's not ok she hurt you. Instead of her being happy about it she was furious that I was taking her friend away. Another "FRIEND" who was a teen was teaching her inappropriate things on the computer and my daughter took the blame for it. I told her no more sleep overs with that person. She got mad because again I was taking her friend away. 

 She lives in a fantasy world of friends and expects you to know what she is talking about. EX: She will watch happy kids' program where teen guys are playing games and expects that you know the lines, motions, or games they play and want to play them as well.

We have had my son on meds sense he started kindergarten due to the destructive behaviors he had at school. Kicking a teacher, I believe it was. They said he cannot come back to school unless something changed. So, we went to his PCP and told him what was going on and he prescribed meds.  It took a while of trial and error to find what worked best for him, but he made it through the year and got an award at school for most improved student and a joy to have around. The pills he was on didn't last long maybe a year then we noticed some different areas that needed addressed. They assigned us to a med specialist that could monitor and better understand what he needed. So, we tried a new medication that did not work it had an opposite effect. So, we had to change it yet again. It's been a roller coaster but learned that serotonin meds make him madder. we are in fourth grade now and have the right meds finally but now his ADHD is at 100. He has an IEP and he goes to school for 4 hours a day.

The ADHD will be addressed after the holidays. Anger and outburst we noticed come when he doesn't understand our expressions. he mistakes aggravated and frustration with anger. If I even go an octave out of line, he says I am yelling at him. Yes, we tried CBD oils and essential oils. NO! they don't work for him. CBD makes him angry. He was diagnosed when he was 4 and we helped in every way possible.

My Daughter was not diagnosed with autism until this year. she is eight and will be 9 in December. Shwas not getting help. She was just a typical girl acting out. I was told by family spank her butt she needs it. Show her you're the boss. Don't let her treat you that way. I can only imagine how she felt all this time not getting her way and her brother had all this stuff we had to do for him. It wasn't attention seeking, defiance, a girl being a girl. She was bullied at school so bad I had to pull her out last year. Another student took her stuffy cut it long ways and pulled all the stuffing out of it. It was not ok. She eloped the first time when she was 5 years old. she got out of the yard with her dogs and walked down an alley way. she made it to the street. A person stopped and asked her if she was lost. They asked her if she needed a ride home. She said I'm safe my dogs are with me. I was packing the house for a weekend trip. Taking everything in the kitchen so when my husband got home, we could just go. I checked on my kids frequently. Something was wrong when my son came inside, and sister wasn't with him. I am screaming through the house calling my daughter. I went outside and I see her climbing back in the yard and learned where she got out at. It took her 10 minutes to tell me the whole story. So i ended up calling to PD and letting them know that my daughter was the one out of the yard in case the person in the car had called. I didn't want them to look for someone who wasn't missing. I told them where I lived. They came to the house checked on the kids. Looked to see how she got out of this completely fenced yard locks on everything because of son and they told me that the place she got out of used to be where dumpsters would sit for trash pickup. So, if you can imagine it set back in the wall. That was the first time she had eloped, and I didn't know where she was. Not the last.

Another thing that she would do is put things in her mouth that didn't belong. I had to rush her to er for swallowing watch batteries. Mind you climbed to the top of my pantry to get them. It happened on the first day of kindergarten during covid. Another time she swallowed a glass round thing for a fishbowl on the way taking my son to a dentist appointment in the middle of nowhere. We live in a small town and the only dentist in town is always booked. Yes, it really looks different for the both of them. She struggles with

reading and writing. My son is very good at reading and spelling hates writing. She loves math he hates it and struggles with division and subtraction. He wants to be an electrical scientist. She wants to be a police officer or a vet maybe both. he wants all boys and a wife she wants to adopt kids. I mean the list goes on. The thing that hard is if we would have even suspected when she was tiny, we could have done something more to help her. Instead of finding out when she's almost 9yrs old that yes, she is.

 

I hope this will show you differences. Remember were all doing the best we can. BREATH!!! we make mistakes will learn from them and move on.

 

Anne Goehler