I get a lot of questions on potty training a child with autism. Let's start at the not so pretty potty side of things. When my kids were 2 and 3 years old, they were both in diapers. I was putting together a puzzle in the kitchen adjacent to my son's room. I can see partially in his room. I put my daughter in there so they could have play time as she could walk and play, and he was wanting sis attention. I look up from the table about to add a piece to the puzzle and as my attention was suddenly grabbed. I could smell this awful smell coming from the kid's room. They were laughing their booty's off and thought it was hilarious. I can't fully see them at this point. I walk to the baby gate and OH MY GOD! They have taken their diapers off and were playing in poop. Covered head to toe. The walls were smeared poop art. Their hair oh God now I have to clean this up! Noone told me as a parent my kids would play in poop!! Why are they laughing this is not ok. I got them out one at a time and cleaned them up. Needless to say, taking your diaper off means your almost ready to potty train. So that's when we began.
I would take the kids in the bathroom with me everytime I had to go this allowed them to know what the bathroom is meant for. To them it meant playing with the toilet paper and playing in the shower. oh, what fun. So cleaned the bathroom up and sat my daughter on the potty and held her legs while she sat naked on the toilet. NOPE! too small to fit on the seat and folded herself into the toilet bowl. Ok maybe will wait a little bit longer. As the months went on naked runners were the new thing and diapers and smeared poop was becoming a hilarious let's do it again thing, I couldn't stomach it.
We ended up moving my brother awhile after this and he had 4 kids at the time 3 fully potty trained.
My bother actually suggested that I let the kids watch the little older kids go potty and they will learn the basics from that. We did that. No luck for us other then they wanted to play in the tub when the slightly older kids were in the potty. So they were in diapers a bit longer.
Then we let them play around in the clean bathroom for a bit leaving the bathroom door open so they could get use to the idea of what a bathroom in meant and not meant for. So, the first attempt I learn shaving cream goes up higher as they can reach. It was all funny walking in the bathroom and seeing sister and brother covered in shaving cream. Way to funny. Ok lesson learned.
This was actually working to build confidence in my daughter, but my son was different. we let him start going pee outside. Thats what made it click for him. He would run outside take off his diaper and pee. On a tree, a bush, sidewalk, car, wherever he wanted too outside. Now we had to move him inside to the toilet. I was told put cheerios in the toilet. NO, he can't stand over the toilet. Shower pee time. He learned to pee in the shower when dad was going potty. score. I remember payday we did go get a small seat that went over the big seat to help them not fall in the toilet. After that they were pretty much potty trained. I bought less diapers and started the training pants. which I went through that stage pretty fast. They wanted cotton undies and be big girl and big boy. They were potty trained by 3 and 4 years old.
They are almost 9 and 10 now yes, they have issues with the bathroom. Now it's anything that requires any amount of unspecified time my son hates it. That is going to the bathroom one or two. Showering remembering to wash all his stinky parts. Going to school all day. He has a half day mind you. Going a 6-hour drive to Grandmas not so bad.
Thats Today's story of what happened and what we did in potty training. Remember that the growth of our children is in months when they are tiny but when the get to be 1-5 it goes to fast to stay caught in those hard moments. They were most that passed, and you can't have it back so be kind to them and yourself. allow yourself to feel the emotions and control them. say nice things and be patient.
breath we are all doing the best we can.
Anne Goehler